We are lonelier than ever and addicted to our own stress hormones …

I know what you're thinking ... 

I'm not an artist

and/or

I just can't relate to your tortured story replete with drugs, illegal raves and a sex addiction 😳

💯 FAIR

but hear me out …

It's true - as a former drug / sex addict in recovery

I am no longer addicted to adrenaline .  Or cortisol .  

But these issues are more universal than you may think ...

and critical to address for optimal health outcomes

[including but not limited to a sustainable sex drive]

as well as access to creativity + the capacity for healthy / nourishing relationships!

“For those habituated to high levels of internal stress since early childhood, it is the absence of stress that creates unease, evoking boredom and a sense of meaninglessness .  People may become addicted to their own stress hormones— adrenaline and cortisol "  Gabor Maté , When the Body says NO 

The emphasis here 🇺🇸 on productivity, ambition and damn-near constant activity creates a glorification of stress and a [toxic] masculine paradigm of "busyness"  ...

which, in turn, results in an entire population with chronically elevated cortisol levels

Burnout, depression, chronic fatigue, impaired immunity, hormonal imbalance, sexual dysfunction and a slew of autoimmune disorders will inevitably follow ... it's just science, y'all . 

And sadly, I can verify all of these empirical data experientially, as I've already navigated [ and healed ] everything on that list … 

Nearly 20 years ago,

I was forced to change my lifestyle . 


My body left me no choice ...

that's how very WISE our bodies are .


When we allow our nervous systems to adapt to a constant state of fight or flight, we become accustomed and habituated to elevated cortisol .  Even addicted to it . 

This adaptation mimics substance abuse in the way the body relies on it and seeks out stressful media / situations / jobs / relationships ...

unable to relax and surrender to pleasure .

Western civilization, with its emphasis on materialism and external gratification, has created a WHOLE ASS CULTURE of denial and distraction 🙄

Rather than confronting deeper issues, we seek "solace" in external stimuli - an endlessly defeating cycle reinforcing chronic stress, loneliness and very poor physical and mental health outcomes . 

 This is one of MANY reasons ...

I created my yearlong immersion program LUST4LYFE

MARK YOUR 📅 because … earlybird enrollment begins next month for my VIP list ❤️‍🔥

I'll be releasing 3 spaces @ VIP rates at 9a PST on August 3rd

Once filled, the remaining spaces will be released to the public @ standard rates ! 

LISTEN . This is high-touch support for an entire year, y'all ... a synthesis of my somatic expertise and creativity as an artist [ READ : fun + transformative !!! ]

Sooooo if you are currently in-transition,

seeking a new kind of regenerative community

or ready to invest in your relationships, creativity, health, longevity, pleasure …

Learn more about this cutting edge program HERE 

From Eve to Lilith to Isis …

When forced to choose between belonging and authenticity, I have always gone with the latter .  

I am no stranger to the plight of Eve — or Lilith ...  

The above is a self-portrait I took at age 16 .  That was the year I “ate the forbidden fruit” or “lost my innocence” … as the old stories go .  TBH — the only thing I feel like I lost that night was the illusion that I could survive in this society as an artist / lover without meeting near CONSTANT resistance and projection .  

Prior to this photograph, I had no idea how evocative and subversive just being my damn self would be in a woman’s body …

As someone who has never been very “demure” — or apologetic — about my humanity, I have mostly been treated like a “shadow” symbol [often for women] and sex object [often men] … rather than being witnessed / related to / courted as the complex and mysterious human being I am .  

But we are capable of so much more than treating one another like objects or mirrors or transactions…yes?

The roman catholic church was the first patriarchal system to exile me .  Like Eve I was escorted out of Sunday school on multiple occasions for “asking too many questions … ”  The priest would calmly sit me down on a dark, broody stairwell before proceeding to systematically evade every opportunity to delve into the esoteric mysteries I so deeply craved ….. lecturing me instead on my “behavior” How very patronizing .  

Suffice it to say, I became a full-on atheist for many years after that, heading straight into the underground rave scene .  

Like Lilith I was determined to forge a new path all on my own, with nothing but my rage and passion as guideposts .  

This led me all over the world [quite literally] and eventually, I settled in San Francisco in my late 20s, pursuing recovery for  drug  and sex addiction shortly thereafter .  I had journeyed a bit too deep into the underworld and couldn’t pull myself out .  That’s when I found Vipassana meditation, Jungian analysis and the Esalen Institute .  

I needed to reset my sense of home and find routes to the transcendent realm that weren’t going to kill me .

Continuing to seek pathways back to my body / self and new methods of integrating all of the expanded consciousness I had acquired over the past decade, I went on a vision fast, studied with a couple of shamans and ultimately began my somatic experiencing journey .  In 2018, I began working with the energy of Isis  (the egyptian goddess — just to be clear) … left the country on yet another solo sojourn and uncovered my power and purpose as an artist, priestess and [emotional + spiritual ] intimacy catalyst . 

Through my instinctual ability to be emotionally transparent and vulnerable, I noticed time and time again that the individuals and couples working with me one-on-one would organically begin to erode any barriers to authenticity and connection they were facing .  These results helped me find clarity and confidence …

Many will try and convince you that you have to choose between belonging and authenticity .  

But you don’t .  

Persistence (and a lot of grace / trial and error) is the main reason I’ve been able to cultivate this level of depth and intimacy with myself .  

And I genuinely hope my stubborn and ravenous [I descend from a loooooooong line of people forced to survive in conditions of major scarcity] journey inspires and empowers you in some way !  

If you are in resonance of this work, I’d love to invite you to join us in Los Angeles this Fall (September 5-6th) we will be invoking / reclaiming the power of goddess energy … both within and without 🌹