From Eve to Lilith to Isis …
When forced to choose between belonging and authenticity, I have always gone with the latter .
I am no stranger to the plight of Eve — or Lilith ...
When forced to choose between belonging and authenticity, I have always gone with the latter .
I am no stranger to the plight of Eve
or Lilith ...
The above is a self-portrait I took at age 16 .
That was the year I “ate the forbidden fruit” or “lost my innocence” … as the old stories go . TBH — the only thing I feel like I lost that night was the illusion that I could survive in this society as an artist / lover without meeting near CONSTANT resistance and projection .
Prior to this photograph, I had no idea how evocative and subversive just being my damn self would be in a woman’s body …
As someone who has never been very “demure” — or apologetic — about my humanity, I have mostly been treated like a “shadow” symbol [often for women] and sex object [often men] … rather than being witnessed / related to / courted as the complex and mysterious human being I am .
But we are capable of so much more than treating one another like objects or mirrors or transactions…yes?
The roman catholic church was the first patriarchal system to exile me . Like Eve I was escorted out of Sunday school on multiple occasions for “asking too many questions … ” The priest would calmly sit me down on a dark, broody stairwell before proceeding to systematically evade every opportunity to delve into the esoteric mysteries I so deeply craved ….. lecturing me instead on my “behavior” How very patronizing .
Suffice it to say, I became a full-on atheist for many years after that, heading straight into the underground rave scene .
Like Lilith I was determined to forge a new path all on my own, with nothing but my rage and passion as guideposts .
This led me all over the world [quite literally] and eventually, I settled in San Francisco in my late 20s, pursuing recovery for drug and sex addiction shortly thereafter . I had journeyed a bit too deep into the underworld and couldn’t pull myself out . That’s when I found Vipassana meditation, Jungian analysis and the Esalen Institute .
I needed to reset my sense of home and find routes to the transcendent realm that weren’t going to kill me .
Continuing to seek pathways back to my body / self and new methods of integrating all of the expanded consciousness I had acquired over the past decade, I went on a vision fast, studied with a couple of shamans and ultimately began my somatic experiencing journey . In 2018, I began working with the energy of Isis (the egyptian goddess — just to be clear) … left the country on yet another solo sojourn and uncovered my power and purpose as an artist, priestess and intimacy catalyst .
Through my instinctual ability to be emotionally transparent and vulnerable, I noticed time and time again that the individuals and couples working with me one-on-one would organically begin to erode any barriers to authenticity and connection they were facing . These results helped me find clarity and confidence …
Many will try and convince you that you have to choose between belonging and authenticity .
But you don’t .
Persistence (and a lot of grace / trial and error) is the main reason I’ve been able to cultivate this level of depth and intimacy with myself .
And I genuinely hope my stubborn and ravenous journey inspires and empowers you in some way !
If you heard whispers of your own soul in this story, I’d loooooooove to invite you to join us on retreat in Los Angeles September 5-6th as we will be invoking and reclaiming the P O W E R of goddess energy …